Men, you have the right to defend yourself in a divorce. Here are 11 action steps to take now.
Instructions
1. 1. Protect Documents. Set up a safe-house for your important records, papers and documents, like a friend's house or your attorney's office. Your spouse may be going through your desk, briefcase, automobile, telephone records, bills, and computer, looking for financial information and other evidence to use against you in a divorce.
2. 2. Divide Bank Accounts. Withdraw half of the funds in joint bank accounts in half and deposit it in your own name. You can withdraw everything but you run the risk of making the judge angry if you leave the children and your wife with no money to get by on. Arrange for the bills to be paid. Let your spouse know, but only after you have divided the money. You do not want her to clean out the account first.
3. 3. Divide Stock. Divide any stock, bonds or mutual funds that are held jointly with your wife. This is not a taxable event, but it will be fair to divide the funds so that the tax basis is fairly equal as well.
4. 4. Close Credit Cards. Close joint credit or loan accounts and notify the banks, charge cards, and others by a certified, return receipt letter that you are no longer responsible for your wife's expenses. Ask the company to reopen an account in your own name alone. Let your wife know so she is not caught at the gas pump with a credit card no longer works. If she has already started a spending spree, report the card as stolen. It is possible for a divorce attorney to take a $5,000 retainer from her or more on your credit card if she is an authorized user.
5. 5. Continue Insurance. It is probably a bad idea to drop your wife from your health insurance policy at least until the divorce is final. You are probably responsible for her medical bills until then anyway. Even after the divorce, the employed spouse may want to keep the spouse and children covered. An unexpected medical expense for the child could be assessed against you for additional child support. The same could happen with alimony and an ex-spouse. Federal law allows most wives to stay on their husband's group policy for up to thirty six months after a divorce for an additional premium.
6. 6. Cut Expenses. Two can live as cheaply as one, but not if they are separated and paying for two households. So now is the time to cancel anything you do not need like extra telephone lines or cable television. If there is any personal property you do not want or need, sell it. However, do not cut off the utilities on your children and their mother without giving them plenty of notice. Make sure you can prove this notice to the court because leaving your children and their mother home without heat or light in December seldom sits well with the judge.
7. 7. Stop Pension Contributions. Retirement funds acquired during a marriage can be divided by the divorce court. So fill out the paperwork to have your employer stop your contributions to your 401(k) account or other pension plan. Do not make contributions this year to your IRA.
8. 8. Inventory. List everything in the house and date your list. Take pictures or video tape if you wish. Include furniture, furnishings, appliances, clothing and jewelry. Then you will know if something turns up missing, and you will have evidence of it.
9. 9. Valuables. Store any valuables, like collections, jewelry, artwork, firearms, cash, and heirlooms in a safe place preferably out of the house. Secure anthing with significant or sentimental value to you. You are not trying to hide things. But you do not want to come home from work and find that your valuables have been given away or sold at a yard sale.
10. 10. Safe Deposit Box. Establish a safe deposit box and secure your valuables away from the house. If you already have a safe deposit box, and your wife has access to it, you will want to remove your items and store them somewhere else. Make a list or take a picture or video tape of whatever is left in the box for proof later. The same goes for any storage unit.
11. 11. Find a Good Divorce Lawyer. Get referrals from friends and colleagues who have been through a divorce and find a good family lawyer. Set up an appointment right away. Some lawyers charge for an initial consultation and some do not. In the initial meeting, you will be able to get some good advice and strategy for your particular facts and circumstances. You will also be able to assess the attorney to see if it's a good fit for you. During this meeting, the attorney will discuss costs with you. However, any estimate by an attorney is the roughest of all guesses. The cost will really depend upon what your spouse and her attorney do and what you do. Don't sign anything from your wife or her attorney unless your attorney reads it first.
Tags: your wife, after divorce, children their, children their mother, credit card
